SARAH PROUT

Bestselling Author and Creative Entrepreneur

MTHFR, fertility and the joy of growing new life

My LifeSarah Prout
Sarah Prout

The picture on the right is of an orchid my dad gave me for my 33rd birthday back in 2012. It bloomed once and then dried out. I’d kept the plant, despite its withered appearance and watered it (rarely) thinking that one day it might come back to life and grow flowers again. I was on the verge of throwing it away, when I had the idea of seeing it in my mind’s eye blooming beautiful orchids once again. Sure enough, two years after it had shown any sign of life, it’s now flowering and I feel that this is a huge correlation to the story that follows…

If you’ve ever had a miscarriage you’ll know how easy it is to blame yourself and wonder whether or not it is something you did that caused the loss. Just like my orchid, you’ll wonder if you have the right environment for new life to grow. What I know now is that it's a delay and not a denial and that everything has a Divine plan. 

If you’ve followed my story you’ll know that I’ve had 6 miscarriages in total, five of them happening in a 12 month period. I’m really toying with the idea of writing a book about the whole experience because I have honestly learned so much. Just as there is more than one way to skin a cat (such a horrible saying), so too are the various ways you can experience a miscarriage. 

I literally had hundreds of different women (and a few men) writing to me with ideas (and some concerns) about what I should be eating, drinking, thinking and contemplating. I had help from healers, shaman, witches and mother nature experts all over the world. I consumed green juices, purchased expensive herbs and lotions and looked for signs that my soul baby was ready to finally come through. 

Each loss was different and yet the feeling of failure would worsen. Honestly, 2014 has been one of the hardest and shittiest years of my life. However, it's also been one of the best. Go figure. 

In June, my husband and I decided to move to the beach (Noosa) to reclaim some presence that had been sorely lacking from our time in Melbourne. We knew a fresh start would be the best thing in order to take a break from ‘trying’ to make a baby. Our souls needed to re-set, recalibrate and figure out a way to move forward somehow. The agony of loss after loss had made our first year of marriage strengthen our love, but wilt our exuberance. 

This is a scan of Little Miss Prout-Simpson measuring 22 weeks and 2 days. We have chosen a beautiful name for her that we can't wait to share in just 16 or so weeks. 

This is a scan of Little Miss Prout-Simpson measuring 22 weeks and 2 days. We have chosen a beautiful name for her that we can't wait to share in just 16 or so weeks. 

Within 10 days of living by the ocean I fell pregnant with the daughter I am due to give birth to in March 2015. Our prayers were answered. 

Before we moved states, I had seen so many doctors and specialists at the Recurring Miscarriage Clinic in Melbourne. However, it was when I found a local GP here on the Sunshine Coast that asked if I had ever been tested for the gene mutation called MTHFR that I knew I was on the right track. However, by the time I found her I was already pregnant, and if I had heard the results of my test before I fell pregnant then I probably would have given up all hope and stopped trying. You see, the statistics were pretty bad odds and after all of the losses I just wouldn't have been strong enough to face it all again. 

MTHFR and Auto-Immune Disease

It turns out the doctor found the physical reason I wasn’t able to grow a baby past 9 weeks gestation. We all have two MTHFR genes, one inherited from each parent. Some people have a genetic mutation in one gene – referred to as a heterozygous mutation – or a mutation in both genes, which is referred to as a homozygous mutation. I have a mutation in both genes which means my ability to process folate, which is vital for baby growth is all screwed up. 

Luckily early intervention with super-dooper doses of vitamins and regular shots of B12 helped me to get over each scary milestone. In theory, this pregnancy is a miracle. With my age (35) and my genes working against me, it seemed unlikely that we would see a healthy result. Early on I experienced bleeding, but after 3 solid months of morning sickness I knew that this baby was growing. 

MTHFR research is so new that not many doctors know that it can be the culprit for fertility issues such as a recurrent miscarriage. 

There are things you can do to manage MTHFR such as having a special diet and other things to avoid, but that's a blog post for another day, or perhaps a book. 

On the flip-side of this baby making coin, however, I need to acknowledge the inner work that needed to be done in order to allow the baby to grow and stay with me. 

I really feel that cultivating worthiness and letting go of pain from the past is imperative in order to move forward. Just like seeing the orchid grow flowers again, I held the intention that Sean and I were destined to make a baby. 

For me, I made peace with the fact that I already had two beautiful children that made it into the world despite my mutant genes. I was thrilled to know that this is probably the reason I miscarried at 16 weeks when I was just 20 years old. It also explains why it took me nearly 4 years to fall pregnant with my daughter. 

I truly believe that with a combination of understanding the physical aspects of our bodies and cherishing and understanding the metaphysical side to ourselves that it is the key to unlocking rich and fulfilling outcomes no matter what they might be. 

The biggest lesson was the power of becoming comfortable with uncertainty and letting go of the outcome. If anything, MTHFR is in my awareness to remind me to take better care of myself. 

If you'd like to know more about MTHFR please visit here. Alternatively, if you've suffered a miscarriage and need support please visit SANDS. 

It's A GIRL!

My LifeSarah Prout
Pink-Balloons-and-Gold-Sequins

I just realised that I didn't write a post to announce that I found out that I am having a baby GIRL!

When I wrote this post a few weeks ago I had just taken the Verifii test to see if everything was okay and to also confirm the gender. I was so surprised how far technology has come since I had my daughter nearly nine years ago. To think you can find out all of this stuff from a simple blood test.

I waited patiently all week for the results, and then it was late on a Friday afternoon and I swear I developed super-sonic hearing. I'm not kidding, I heard my phone buzzing on silent from inside my zipped handbag about eight metres away! As soon as I plunged into my bag, it already displayed '1 missed call' on the screen. I knew it was my doctor and I also started to panic because the office was just about to close for a three-day weekend!

I called back immediately at 5.01pm and to my surprise the doctor answered the phone from the front desk on her way out. She told me everything came back perfectly 'normal' for the chromosome tests and that I was having a girl. Yep, two little XX chromosomes.

I ran back inside all shaky and excited and walked into our office to tell Sean (my husband). It was one of those moments where he just knew that I found out something life changing.

"We're having a baby girl."

After all of the trouble we've had in the last year I didn't care at all whether it was a boy or a girl, but now I'm super-excited and happy to start the nesting process. My kids are really happy as well to have a new little sister on the way in March 2015.

5 Miscarriages In A Year, A Sea Change and Finally A Healthy Pregnancy Announcement

My LifeSarah Prout
necklace

A few months ago we made the decision that we needed to move to a tropical location and live by the beach (from Melbourne to Noosa). Our plan was to start to heal from the emotional pain and trauma of loss after loss. I had 5 miscarriages in about 8 months and I felt like a failure. My body was burnt out, my soul felt tired and it was time for a fresh start. My dearest wish was to work on the pain that had occurred and rid myself of the energy that was holding me back. Thanks to the special help of a couple of very unique healers, I was able to slowly get to a space of hopefulness. After the first three losses I was offered placement at the Recurring Miscarriage Clinic at the Mercy Hospital to figure out the cause. I had numerous tests that all came back as inconclusive. All we knew is that that baby I lost in May was due to a chromosomal issue (like most losses) and that it would have been a girl. The others were 'just rotten luck' as one of the doctors had explained.

After the 5th loss I was keen to give my body a break, so my husband and I decided to be more 'careful' since he could pretty much sneeze on me and get me pregnant. However, all it takes is once and boom...magic happens.

Ten days after we drove 23 hours to move from state to state, I peed on the pregnancy test because I 'just had a feeling' that something might be different. Sure enough the miraculous two pink lines showed up and I knew we were in for another wild ride.

Of course my mind was racing with fear from week to week. Each day was a milestone. At around 6 weeks I started to bleed. It was an all too familiar episode.

Tears were flooding and I was so afraid that I would lose another baby. Sean (my husband) and I headed off to the hospital emergency room to figure out what was going on.

Considering I was pretty much an expert at miscarriages at this point, I knew that bleeding 'always' meant that things would be taking turn for the worst. I knew the drill - no heartbeat, slow heartbeat, no growth, no foetal pole - time for a D & C, perhaps Misprostal (the abortion drug) or a natural loss that feels like excruciating period pain.

The wait at the hospital to see a doctor can sometimes take hours of arduous waiting and waiting. The time drags - the dog-earred old magazines are filled with happy celebrity baby stories which are like rubbing salt on a wound.

After a few hours Sean had to leave to pick up the kids from school. I was feeling okay and told him that I knew what to expect and I would be fine.

Another hour passed and I decided to take out my phone and write message to the baby. This was an attempt at calming myself and getting my heart into a good space of being open to all possibilities.

It's going to be okay. I love you. Be safe. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful to god/the Universe no matter what happens. It is my honour to carry you. No matter what the outcome I am here, I am well, you are safe.

Then my name was called.

I went into the cubicle and explained my story to the doctor. They always ask if it's IVF since not many people at my age (34) can conceive so easily and regularly. I was then taken down for an ultrasound - the final frontier, these things were always so definitive.

Sean wasn't with me and I was kind of happy about that because I didn't want to put him through the emotional pain again. I just knew that things weren't working out, or so I convinced myself.

The technician inserted the probe. Oh gosh, it was one of those internal ultrasounds that gives you a really good look since everything in there is pretty tiny. 2014 is officially the year where the most about of people have seen my vagina - records have been broken *laugh*. 

The time slows right down to at snail's pace when you're at a crossroad like this. It's a make or break slow motion experience where you have to hold your breath and hope for the best.

And then...

"See that, that boom boom boom? That's the heartbeat!"

5 weeks 3 days and I got to see the heartbeat, 100 beats per minute.

I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't believe there was life in there.

When Sean arrived I was sitting on the hospital bed grinning from ear to ear like an idiot, which really confused him. He was so relieved!

Everything looked fine and so the next leg of the waiting game would unfold. Apparently I had a 'subchorionic hematoma' which was a pool of blood in my uterus. The doctor told me it's 50/50 chance of survival when these happen.

At about 6 weeks I had a second set of blood-work taken and my HCG levels were rising nicely. It was about this time that the morning sickness started to kick in with a vengeance.

I would literally have to carry plastic bags in my handbag in case I needed to throw up while I was out. Most of the day I felt dizzy, the smell of food would make me gag and all I could eat was 2-minute noodles because they were pretty easy to throw up. Even my days as a bulimic didn't train me for morning sickness. I 'thought' I had it with my son and then got it worse with my daughter, but nothing like this. Absolutely nothing like the feeling of being perpetually ill and hugging the 'porcelain pony' several times per day. I know people that have experienced 'hyperemesis gravidarum' where it's so bad they have to be hospitalised - just like the Dutchess of Cambridge. I'm pretty lucky it didn't get to this, but there were many tears, tantrums and moments of desperation. It's so hard to feel grateful when your stomach is churning and you're too tired to lift your head off the bed. I just had remain focussed and keep my eyes on the prize.

Cooking food of any kind in our house has been kept to a bare minimum over the last 7 weeks, and only now and am I starting to emerge from my bed and feel a little bit normal again. Ginger beer and salt crackers have been my faithful friend.

Baby Prout-Simpson

(baby Prout-Simpson arriving mid-late March 2015)

When I hit 12 weeks I was so happy. Apparently the likelihood of miscarriage is really low. Our ultrasound showed a perfectly perfect little being that actually measured 4 days more than we thought. The baby had 10 fingers, 10 toes and long little legs. He/she had the hiccups and was sucking his/her thumb! I'm also starting to show now a little too.

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(this is my first baby bump photo)

There was a minor concern with some of the bloodwork and the measurement of the Nuchal scan so I had to do another round of prenatal testing called the Verifii test. The doctor assured me that everything looks okay and she just wants to be sure in order to put my mind at rest. Sean and I made the decision that we will have this baby no matter what.

So this week will will know for sure if everything is okay and if our baby is a boy or a girl. I am so excited to get that phone call! I'll probably announce it on Facebook so watch this space. The response on Facebook from our family and friends has been so overwhelming, Sean, Thomas, Olivia and I feel incredibly grateful.

In summary, it's crazy to think that in the last 12 months I have been pregnant for 10 of them. And now at a little over 13 weeks I am so thrilled to feel hopeful that one day I'll finally hold this soul baby in my arms. xo

SPROUT MAGAZINE: Articles Wanted

Entrepreneurial Spirit, featuredSarah Prout
typewriter

Many of you might not know that about 8 years ago I started the first version of SPROUT MAGAZINE. It was an online 'flippable' document that I loved curating and putting together. It was pretty advanced techy stuff for back then, before the days of social media and selfies. Recently I have been taking some time to re-think what I really want and to do. I've also been doing some long overdue soul-searching and I came up with this new mission and vision. The idea is to build a team (writers, columnists, editors), build a community and a buzzing hive of inspirational content.

SPROUT MAGAZINE is an edgy, real, authentic, creative and inspiring online world for women. Our goal is to spark empowered lifestyle advice that will help you to create a business and life you love.

SPROUT MAGAZINE (online) is launching on November 1st and we're currently looking for article submissions on the following topics:

  • Wellness: (mind, body, spirit, recipes)
  • Entrepreneurship (money, creativity, tech, blogging, productivity)
  • Relationships (sex, dating, self-love, divorce, parenting)
  • Inspiration (affirmations, meditations, mindset, happiness, magic)
  • Style (fashion, beauty, home, office)
  • Design (art, craft, DIY)

Or if you are an expert and would love to pitch the idea of having your own regular column please drop me a line.

*submissions close on October 28th.

If you'd like the chance to build your writing portfolio of published articles then we would love for you to join our upcoming community.

Step 1: Please email articles (no more than 500 words) to editor@sproutmag.com

Step 2: Include possible title and mini description

Step 3: Include a short bio, link to your blog/website and author photo.

**Please note that due to the large volume of submissions not all articles can be published, but you will receive a response no matter what. If successful, you will be given an official publication date.

I feel so inspired and fired up about this new project. Behind the scenes our publishing company are working on a new compilation book called Heart to Heart: The Path to Wellness, our self-publishing division (Verbii.com) is nearly booked up for the rest of the year and it feels like the right time to create something new.

My goal here is to provide a space for women to share what they're truly passionate about. This in turn provides more exposure, back-links to their blog (which is great for SEO), the opportunity to be seen by thousands of readers and to know that SPROUT MAGAZINE is leading the way in terms of creating positive impact in the world.

To stay updated about everything SPROUT related please 'like' our new page on Facebook.

11 Powerful Affirmations for Abundance

Affirmations, featuredSarah Prout
abundance

I thought I would share my most favourite abundance affirmations from the fabulous Florence Scovel Shinn. Say them aloud, really feel into the space of prosperity, print them, share them, and allow for abundance to unfold. 1. I now draw form the abundance of the spheres my immediate and endless supply. All channels are free! All doors are open!

2. I now release the gold-mine within me. I am linked with an endless golden stream of prosperity which comes to me under grace in perfect ways.

3. Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of abundance forever.

4. My God is a God of plenty and I now receive all that I desire or require, and more.

5. All that is mine by Divine Right is now released and reaches me in great avalanches of abundance, under grace in miraculous ways.

6. My supply is endless, inexhaustible and immediate and comes to me under grace in perfect ways.

7. All channels are free and all doors fly open for my immediate and endless, Divinely Designed supply.

8. I give thanks that the millions which are mine by Divine Right, now pour in and pile up under grace in perfect ways.

9. Unexpected doors fly open, unexpected channels are free, and endless avalanches of abundance are poured out upon me, under grace in perfect ways.

10. I spend money under direct inspiration wisely and fearlessly knowing my supply is endless and immediate.

11. I am fearless in letting money go out, knowing God is my immediate and endless supply. Did you love these? Share the abundance by hitting the share button.

5 Easy Ways to Spontaneously Meditate

featured, Soul + PassionSarah Prout
Buddhafigur

It's proven that mediation has fabulous health benefits. Not only does it reduce stress levels and release happy hormones in your brain, but it means that you feel engaged and connected to a higher power.

Being connected to our higher selves is so important. Whether you called it Force, Source, God, The Universe...whatever...meditation is a way to recharge the soul batteries and take a chill pill.

If making yourself meditate isn't your thing, then check out the following 5 ways your brain will roll into Alpha and give you similar effects with little or no effort.

1. During sexy-sexy time

You're relaxed, surrendered, fully present (sometimes) and participating in an act of love. Sex (lurve making) is an excellent way to connect with your own soul and/or the soul of your soulmate.

2. In the car

When you're on the road sometimes it's so easy to drift into a space of mindfulness where you're aware on the traffic conditions (for safety) but you're also allowing your mind to drift into a peaceful space of surrender.

3. Playing with your pets

Animals are the Universal ambassadors of joy. When you connect with your pets then you are meditating because you're being fully present with them. It's not like your dog will hold a grudge about the past, they are fully here now and wagging their tails. Go on, wag your tail.

4. Being in nature

As I'm writing these words I can hear birds singing and the roar of the beautiful ocean outside my window - the sun has just risen over the water.

Whether it's feeling your feet on the sand or walking through a garden smelling freshly cut grass or watching butterflies flitter around you - try and appreciate the nature around you.

When you are in wonderment of it then you tune into its vibration and it becomes your mediation.

5. Waiting in a line

Instead of feeling ticked off or grumpy that you have to wait in a queue at the post office why not turn it into an opportunity to cultivate presence? Observe the beauty all around you and see the humanity. A friend of mine once told me that infinite patience gives you immediate results.

Stay or Leave? The Many Facets of Verbal Abuse

Truth + WisdomSarah Prout

I get a lot of women writing to me since we released the 21 Days to Attract Your Soulmate course earlier this year. I get amazing questions like this...

"I am also considering myself in a phase of huge growth, and am questioning my relationship. While not abusive, verbal abuse shows up every three months or so. It also seems we're growing apart as our 'beliefs' are changing ... e.g. life is hard vs. life is great ... as well as spiritual stuff. Sometimes I think it would free me to move on, but I don't want to 'give up' either."

"He calls me a bitch or says I'm stupid at least once a month. I know it's more about him than it is me, it just leaves me questioning whether or not we should be together."

As I tell all of my clients and students, I am not a professional with relationship stuff. All I can offer is my perspective and experience and maybe that will shed some insight and light.

 

Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse - it screws with your brain plasticity and rewires your sense of self to behave differently. Honestly, it changes who you are but as a caveat here, there is a very broad spectrum of what someone should be willing to tolerate.

I have been verbally abusive and I have been verbally (and physically) abused. The word 'abuse' is so loaded and heavy.

We all makes mistakes. No one is perfect and I think that communication break down and frustration is the most likely reason why partners peck away at their loved ones. They feel out of control and feel not so good about themselves, so they take it out on people around them. This is the most likely weak spot where you're often finding that you're drifting apart instead of growing together in the same direction.

As one half of a relationship you need to be on the same page and not stuck in a cycle of pushing the self destruct button when things get rough. You're either in or you're out - the fence sitting has to end because that lack of honest commitment to what you really want would cause a lot of anxiety and stress.

Action: Get clear about what you really want.

I sat on the fence for a decade and just heaped on the excuses and ignored my feelings. For me it was what I imagine being gay and pretending that you're straight would be like. I wasn't living my authentic truth of being in the kind of relationship I wanted for myself.

With my love Sean, we have had some epic fights that have sometimes teetered over the boundaries into being not okay - but they are still fixable and after the storm has passed we break down a new way of being and handling situations. We discuss what we want and that our mutual focus is that we love one another and want to share our lives as a union in the fullest way possible.

Yes, he's called me a bitch and I've hurled insults at him that he's an arse-hole, a cock smack or a dick head - but it's still in the heat of the moment and I know the difference. I'm fully owning the immaturity here, we both did after the event.

The best advice was given to us by a dear friend that suggested we use a safety word or a code word that is non-negotiable and we are to go to our own separate corners to cool down and we will regroup when the aggression has settled. This has helped tremendously. Not so much due to the code word, but due to the fact that it has given us a filter to walk away when we know things are getting heated.

As a union is a super-valuable tool to remember and practice.

With my first husband he used a creative gamut of verbal abuse saying that no one would love me with the spare tyre I had around my middle or that I was a Fat Slag (gosh, that was a nasty one) especially after I had just given birth to my daughter.

The difference between the two was that one was used to hurt and go in for the kill to damage my self of self, and the other is a heat of the moment outburst to shock me out of my spiral - huge difference in my opinion.

One is part of the healthy and not-so-often disagreements that a married couple might experience and the other pecks away at your soul and manipulates you into thinking that you're less than you are.

I would love to live in a happy land of Unicorns where it's all rosy all the time, but it's not. Relationships are our teachers that whip our souls into shape and make us better people. When they start to hurt our hearts and make them feel heavy, it's definitely time to make a choice and make a change.

I hope this helps a little and inspires you to stand back and witness next time this happens (if it does) and know that not everything is black and white, or cut and dry - there is a middle ground where you have the awareness to discern how you really want to be treated in your life and what you're willing to put up with.

Just like physical abuse, the biggest issue is the silence and the stigma associated with our relationships not being perfect.

Screw being perfect - you are a beautiful energetic being that deserves to feel heard, validated and happy.

I would love to know your thoughts and experiences about this. please feel free to comment below.

The Beauty of Breaking Through Judgement

Truth + WisdomSarah Prout

Glitter hands The beauty of life is that our perception changes over time based on experience and what shows up in our reality.

It's so easy to assume and to judge what someone else is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes. I don't think I really understood this concept until all of my preconceived notions and judgements of other people were challenged - and it's still an ongoing process.

I remember when I would threaten to leave my ex-husband and he would say that I'd end up like 'Ivy' - a single mother that we knew that lived in a poorer part of town. The fear and my judgement of 'Ivy' is what made me stay, until I became her and found it to be the most empowering experience ever. My perception of single motherhood shifted and allowed me to break down the fear and see the beauty through it.

Another example is when we discovered that our neighbours were getting divorced because the husband had an affair with a younger woman. I remember feeling rattled and angry that he did this to his wife and to their three children - until I myself had an affair the following Autumn. What I learnt from that experience was that there are so many other layers going on within a relationship that you can't know about unless you're in it.

I remember when I was a teenager there was this local homeless guy called John who was as cranky as Oscar the Grouch. He sported the most acrid stench and lugged around a blanket like Linus from Peanuts. John would urinate in store doorways and yell at people from a distance.

Apparently he was a wealthy businessman with a loving family and the word on the street was that he chose to live this lifestyle of homelessness to keep his family away from the sadness of his mental illness.

Too often we jump to make things wrong without knowing the full picture.

Another common judgement is that when you have more money you'll be happy and problems just disappear - they don't. You see the lessons keep showing up until you 'get' them.

The best attitude to carry around in your heart is compassion - not only for others but for yourself.

The bottom line and the golden thread that binds us all is that we are all living, breathing, human beings. We all crave the same intrinsic comforts to stay alive.

So next time you think of assuming that things are a certain way, stop, pause and cultivate the awareness that there is always so much more behind the perception of a story.

Image Credit: Lark + Lace

Facing Uncertainty - Milestones, The Present Moment and Praying for Miracles

My LifeSarah Prout

**(This post is dedicated to my beautiful husband Sean. I'm ALL in, for life and beyond). About two weeks ago I peed on a stick and the two pink lines showed up which means I am pregnant (yet again). This is number 5 in just seven months. The news was a complete surprise as I was looking forward to giving my body a little break after suffering four consecutive losses. The news landed just a couple of days before my highly anticipated appointment with the recurrent miscarriage clinic at the Mercy Hospital here in Melbourne.

They took between 12-14 vials of blood and ran all of the tests under the sun to figure out what my malfunction is. I was also prescribed progesterone pessaries (oh boy, too much information!).

A few days went by and I started to bleed and cramp, paired with all of the usual suspects associated with an impending loss. And as you could imagine my mind is racing at a million miles an hour thinking that this can't be a good sign.

Sean and I were in the ER for most of Monday. My HCG levels had risen in 11 days and I was given the all clear by the doctor that there was nothing 'wrong' with my tests and all of my losses were due to 'inconclusive reasons'. I was then told to go to level 3 for an internal ultrasound to see if they could see what's going on.

At this stage I am (roughly) 5 weeks maybe 6, so it's super early. The room goes dark and the technician looks at my kidneys, my liver and tells me my uterus is in superb condition to be able to carry a baby to term.

They see a tiny sac and yolk sac, but no fetal pole. The doctor and the technician can't say either way whether it will work out or not, it could go either way. This was not very reassuring.

Sean and I then had to go back downstairs to wait in the ER for the doctor to fully explain the results.

"It doesn't look good. You have quite a 'big bleed' in there and it's likely you will lose this pregnancy. You've just had a horrible run of BAD LUCK."

So it wasn't a no and it wasn't a resounding yes. Here we go again into the land of limbo.

Holy fuck. Bad luck? Really? My eyes were stinging with the news as I was trying to hold back a tsunami of tears.

Not again. Please God, not again.

I was being prepared for the worst and yet my mind still wants to question the accuracy of the diagnosis and hold hope.

There is a chance that this little life could pull through and grow. I have to wait until Tuesday to see what's going on. There are thousands of 'success stories' out there from women who were wrongly diagnosed.

Am I scared? Am I sad? Yes. Am I brave, hopeful and trying my best to keep this in perspective and pray my arse off for a miracle to happen? Youbetcha.

This process has been such a wonderful training ground to bring it back to what's most important in life...your mental, physical and spiritual health.

Mental health is a serious issue and if I'm 100% transparent here, my self-worth has taken a huge bashing over the last 8 months. I feel like I have been on a fierce training ground to cultivate compassion within myself, to see the love and commitment that my husband and I share, to cherish each day as a gift that I can stay pregnant and to take everything moment by moment and turn it into a milestone to celebrate.

My dearest mentor reminds me that being comfortable with the idea that it's not going to work out this time, or maybe it will will be a powerful and important element to moving forward and accepting change. Everything changes, all the bloody time. It's a constant force churning the cogs of humanity. Uncertainty is something we all have to face in our lives. It totally sucks, but the awareness that life is taking us on a wild ride helps immensely.

I can't wrap a threatened miscarriage up in a pretty personal development bow and make it seem fun and educational because it's one of the most anxiety-ridden experiences I have ever had. But what this effed-up, scary time is teaching me is that beautiful acts of compassion are everywhere. I'm learning and growing through the connection and amazing women and their wisdom that has emmerged from the energetic ashes of my loss.

Being pregnant is a powerful teacher that we are always 'expecting' whether we're knocked-up or not - that life expands, changes who we are, and gets us to newfound levels of beautiful awareness.

I promise to write an update as soon as I can. In the meantime, positive energy and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

The Power of Hitting Rock Bottom

UncategorizedSarah Prout

Hitting rock bottom is a blessing. You're at the end of your rope, at your wit's end, up to your ears in despair and ready abandon ship. At this point in your life there is only one way to go and it's usually up. It's time to reframe your perspective and re-assess what you really want to create in your life.

The defining happy moments and highlights in our lives are cherished - when a child is born, wedding days, landing a book deal etc. But in hindsight (oh, what powerful teacher) there are the defining low points in our lives that we know shaped who we are today.

We look back and see how emotional pain illuminated a new path and created profound change.

Hitting rock bottom is just an illusion and an opportunity for expansion. I've hit it so many times myself in various ways, but the awareness that it can always be worse is an extremely important tool for your spiritual toolbox.  You can't always remember when you're in the thick, all-foreboding raptures of rock-bottomness but it's important to note that any time you feel overwhelmed by life not going your way that it's all part of a beautiful story that is being woven by your soul.

So if you're crying uncontrollably, feeling hopeless, uninspired, overwhelmed, angry or even depressed, please have some self-compassion and ask for support. Surround yourself in gentle reminders that tough times pass and that everything will always look a little better tomorrow. Try things like shifting your energy by doing new things or getting clear about what you want to manifest in your life.

One of my most favourite quotes by Florence Scovel Shinn is this:

"Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement."

Rock bottom is apparent failure at her best. Ride it with gratitude and watch how strong you become.

11 Traits of Successful Spiritual Entrepreneurs

Entrepreneurial SpiritSarah Prout

Ring-a-ding-ding. Your soul is calling and you start to make money doing what you LOVE. You're 111% committed to changing the lives of others, and being creatively fulfilled in order to nurture your heart. 'Ordinary' entrepreneurs look for opportunities to cash in on, and there's nothing wrong with this. However, the truly 'spiritual' entrepreneur sees the high-level overview of awareness and how their venture expands the consciousness of everyone that participates in the cycle of prosperity.

Are you a spiritual entrepreneur? You know you are if you can identify with any one of the following traits...

1. Spiritual entrepreneurs acknowledge that deep spiritual work is a never-ending story.

Making money doing what you love has various scary moments to be confronted with. You are challenged with breaking through emotional blockages, worthiness issues and sometimes severe bouts of doubt. You may find yourself getting in the way of your own flow of abundance too, which means that your consciousness expands to allow for growth take place. Whatever challenges you are faced with must be seen as a powerful teacher. Time passes and the lessons will be revealed. Honour the fact you put your hand up to do this work.

2. Spiritual entrepreneurs have a powerful purpose and clear vision.

It's so important to keep your eyes on the prize and remember the 'why' behind your chosen business venture. Remember that nothing is ever set in stone and it's perfectly okay to evolve and change your mind. As long as you check back in and see that you're doing something because it is alignment with your big vision.

3. Spiritual entrepreneurs know that being of service and helping others is the key to success.

There is a beautiful energy exchange that happens when you remove selfishness out of the transactional equation of enterprise. When you serve others from a place of having a true desire to assist and nurture, then miracles happen.

4. Spiritual entrepreneurs meditate often or at least know how to.

The real and most authentic foundation to being a spiritual entrepreneur is the art of being present. This is the core element to success. If you can still your mind and tune in to the Universal flow and life-force then you are recharging all of your creative facilities and allowing awesomeness to manifest.  A true spiritual entrepreneur can make a meditation out of anything - washing dishes, drawing, walking the dog, applying mascara. The meditation is in the present moment. It's right now.

5. Spiritual entrepreneurs are 'in flow' but it doesn't get in the way of productivity.

Yes, it's true, spiritual entrepreneurs can often be found daydreaming and riding around on a unicorn in a field of cherry blossom. However, they know that there is work to be done. Spiritual entrepreneurs know that systems are the backbone of business success. Make this your mantra.

6. Spiritual entrepreneurs are keen philanthropists.

Spiritual entrepreneurs understand the energy of money and know that if you freely release money to a greater cause it will bounce back to you. If you give without expectation and help someone else (or a worthy cause) then you are engaging in the process to strenghthen your abundance vibration.

7. Spiritual entrepreneurs surround themselves with others that uplift them.

Spiritual entrepreneurs have a tribe, a soul family, a collective group of supporters that understand and nurture the journey they're on. Spiritual entrepreneurs also regularly do 'friendship audits' to make sure they want to exchange energy with people that aren't going to poo on their parade. Some may see this as judgement, others see it as self-love.

8. Spiritual entrepreneurs post a lot of inspirational quotes on Facebook and Instagram of green smoothies, kale salads, rainbows and vision boards.

Yep, it's true. Spiritual entrepreneurs need to appear to be hemorrhaging rainbows of awe-induced glittery notions at all possible times. It's a creative way to use social media and electronics addiction for a greater good. And it works.

9. Spiritual entrepreneurs have usually travelled a painful journey to give themselves permission to make money from their passion.

There is a deep and gut-wrenching drive from people that have turned their pain into power. It's our stories that align us with the people that need our help the most.

10. Spiritual entrepreneurs are authentic in their written communication and deeply moved by the connection and impact they have on the lives of others.

Blog comments, Facebook love-notes and submitting testimonials all feed a spiritual entrepreneur and act as powerful feedback to let them know they are making a difference in the world. They are also very helpful to look at in times of doubt in order to get back on track.

11. Spiritual entrepreneurs know that no one is perfect.

The personal growth and personal development industry is riddled with people that think they have it all figured out and strive for perfection. True spiritual entrepreneurs know that you are not broken.  True spiritual entrepreneurs appeal to your awareness that you know you are en ever evolving being and that things aren't always unicorns, rainbows and glitter-cannons of gut-busting laughter. True spiritual entrepreneurs know that we're all on a specific path, there is no pedestal and that celebrities are just normal people. True spiritual entrepreneurs also know how to work their faults, their flaws and their downfalls and turn them into the most exquisite silver linings.

Did you like this? Let me know if you did by clicking the 'like' button below. Also feel free to comment below and share any additional traits of spiritual entrepreneurs you'd like to contribute to the discussion.

10 Things to Say More Often That Will Change Your Life

featured, Truth + WisdomSarah Prout
10things

10 Things to Say More Often That Will Change Your Life

Anyone can develop super-powers if they pay close attention to their language patterns. The words we choose to say to others and to ourselves have the power to heal, to nurture and to nourish. Keep these 10 special power phrases and words close to your heart and speak them as often as possible and you will see miraculous shifts in your life.

1. I LOVE YOU

It always makes me laugh when I see movies where the boyfriend or girlfriend say 'I love you' for the first time like it's a huge deal, or they have given away a chunk of their soul. I love you it such a beautiful way of expressing love that it doesn't just have to be reserved for romance. I tell my kids at least 3 times a day that I love them. And my husband and I say it all the time. It's a way of connecting...like sending out a signal to fuel the relationship with good feeling energy. In fact, we dive a lot into this concept in 21 Days to Attract Your Soulmate Course.

Tell your parents you love them too. For anyone that you genuinely LOVE, it's a good idea to let them know. Or alternatively, SHOW them you love them in your own love language. Make sure you release any emotional blockages around saying it.

And release the pain if your parents didn't say it to you. Create your own rituals, patterns and associations. I LOVE YOU.

2. THANK YOU

Gratitude is a beautiful thing to practice whenever you get an opportunity and there are so many in the course of a day. When you're in the supermarket remember to make eye contact with your check-out person and say thank you.  Say thank you to yourself. Say thank you to your pets, your doctor, your mail person, your pool cleaner guy, your dead great-grandmother, your enemies, your ex-bloody husband.

Say thank you in the safe space of your inner dialogue and let it flow to the outside world.

3. NO

Nope. I don't think so. It's not gonna happen.

Be nice about declining offers and feel perfectly worthy enough to say no to stuff you don't want to do. NO can be really empowering to use effectively. Learning how to say no is a gift, as long as it's done with conscious awareness.

4. I APPRECIATE YOU

A few days ago I went to Boost Juice and they were letting the long line of customers that had just ordered their juice know that their juicer had over-heated. You should have seen how grumpy people were getting! I stood and waited for them to call my order. While I was waiting I could feel the energy of the people that were getting pissed off that they might not get their juice. I decided to appreciate the awesome staff instead.

'You guys are doing an awesome job and I know it's a bit tricky right now.'

Then my name was called.

'Sarah, a medium Veggie Garden juice with wheat grass!'

I was the last person to get my juice before they had to close the register. Heh, heh, heh.The trick was to hold the space of appreciation, express sincere appreciation and then let the energy sort itself out. As for the grumpy peeps? No juice for them.

5. YES

Just like in the movie 'YES MAN' with Jim Carrey you need to learn how to accept opportunities and put yourself out there. YES is a powerful affirmation to the Universe that you are ready for serious manifesting action. With the caveat that the invitation you are accepting is totally safe and empowering ... then GO FOR IT! Yes, is freeing. It will get you out of your comfort zone and allow for new things to be drawn into your reality. Yes, yes, yes.

6. IT'S A POSSIBILITY

This is a great statement that is very helpful as an inner dialogue conversation. By saying that something is a possibility, you open yourself up to possibilities. It's a statement of being open to expansion. If anything is possible then you truly need to be objective enough to see that it is. This concept has been introduced to me by my beautiful husband. He's great at making this statement, so it's not dismissive, it's open.  It's an awesome buffer statement to the secret ingredient of marriage which is compromise.

7. I FORGIVE YOU

Forgiveness is powerful stuff, especially if you think someone has treated you unfairly.Let it go. The real thing you should be saying to yourself  is I FORGIVE YOU. Feel it in your cells and release the hold that any guilt has on you. Shame, guilt, pent-up feelings of unworthiness are great opportunities to practice 

8. I SEE YOU

These are my personal top 3 favourite words clumped together. In fact, they were the last 3 words of my wedding vows to Sean. 'I SEE YOU' is spiritual recognition that you are more than just a meat suit, you are connected to a Divine intelligence that animates your soul. When you say 'I see you' to your soul friends, it cuts the crap on every superficial level and allows you to operate from a sublime space of truth.

9. LOVE

The word LOVE is possibly the best verb in the Universe. It has transformative powers to shift things on a molecular level. Atomic structures reformat themselves in response to the word and the feeling of love. Remember the beautiful man that did the experiments on water and emotion with crystals? His name is Dr. Masaro Emoto. Check out his work, it is truly miraculous.

When you consciously choose to use the word 'LOVE' more in your language patterns you create a shift in your level of awareness. You want to be using the word 'LOVE' a lot more than you use that nasty word 'hate'. The word LOVE is a magnet and will draw awesome stuff and experiences in your direction.

10. MIRACULOUS

When you drop the word miraculous into a sentence, or you look for opportunities to use that word more often then it will show up. Miracles are awesome, so to express the miraculous nature of something in a conversation with someone is to bring a huge energy of excitement to the present moment.

Hope you enjoyed this little batch of inspiration.

Miscarriage: When The Heartbeat Stops and Time Stands Still

My LifeSarah Prout

 

I'd like to dedicate this post to my husband, who is my greatest support, my best friend and a constant source of inspiration. Also to anyone that has experienced the loss of a pregnancy, at any stage. My heart goes out to you with big soul hugs.

Let me set the scene for you…

We were on our honeymoon, in a tropical paradise location in the Carribean for an event called Zentrepreneur and Awesomenessfest. We were amongst the most highly inspired entrepreneurs on the planet thanks to MindValley.

I was just over 8 weeks pregnant. We were thrilled to see a healthy and strong tiny heartbeat and were only just starting to tell a few people the happy news. I had been experiencing morning sickness and all of the beautiful fun that accompanies starting to grow a new, awesome human. However, intuitively I felt that something wasn't right.

On our 5th night in Punta Cana I started bleeding and knew I needed to get to a hospital. However, hospital care wasn't an option. We were 5 hours away on a plane back to New York and at least 2 days away from returning home to Australia. As much as I wanted to stay at the event, I knew that we needed to leave. There was a gentle whisper of knowingness that flying back home was the path of least resistance.

Set amongst the distress of the situation unfolded the most sublime level of emotional, spiritual and physical support that I have ever encountered.

This is my third miscarriage. I had one when I was 20, at 16 weeks - which was devastating because it was my first. My second miscarriage happened at 5 weeks, oddly enough the week before I got married in September this year. I then fell pregnant immediately after and we were so happy. We were plotting out names, thinking about how to decorate the baby's room and wondering what he or she would look like - whether or not it would look like my other children.

I think the pain with this kind of loss is the broken dreams. The physicality of the situation is so harsh and brutal and at the same time is a natural balance and cleansing taking place.

So back to the story…

We booked our tickets back to Australia. There were two options. One was a long stop-over in Iran (no thanks) and the other was to spend a night in New York and then fly to LA and then to Brisbane and then to Melbourne. The cramping was pretty bad, but the emotional distress was worse. All I wanted was to get to an ultrasound machine and hear my baby's heartbeat again to know that everything was going to be okay.

In the time before we left I received a healing from Dr. Fabrizio Mancini who was a guest speaker at the event. Sean connected with him and brought him back to our room. He introduced himself to me, and clearly sensed that I was distressed. In all honesty, I have never experienced this kind of healing before. On all levels (emotionally, mentally and spiritually) I was invited to become aware of the need for self-healing and forgiveness. I received some chiropractic care and also formed a connection with Dr. Fab as a new friend for life. Please check out his work, and get to know more about this man. His work is phenomenal and I felt so blessed to have crossed paths with him when I needed support. He was able to help take the fear away. He also helped me to see that no matter what happens, everything would be okay.

Secondly, I can't express my gratitude enough to our friend Vishen Lakhiani (founder of MindValley) for giving me some beautiful heart-felt advice during the period of distress. Everyone urged me to stay, but I knew that I needed to get on a plane and follow my intuition.

Also, we connected with and had an emotional healing session with Anil Gupta. His advice and support will always be cherished.

Dawn Nicole Hoang and Dallyce Brisbin were my appointed soul sisters that I cherish with all of my heart.

Honestly, this baby's departure orchestrated the most amazing alignment of energy and forming of friendships that I am so grateful for.

So we left beautiful Punta Cana, flew to New York and spent the day taking it easy. I cannot explain how amazing my husband is. He kept asking me in which ways I needed his support. Not once did I feel like he wasn't there for me. We were there, experiencing the 'not knowing what the fuck is going on' together as a unified force. I think we love one another more because of going through this experience.

The flight was long but we slept most of the way. When we arrived in Brisbane it was 4 hours until our plane left for Melbourne, so we decided to collect our luggage and book ourselves into a luxury hotel in Noosa. My children were there anyway, staying with their grandmother. By being spontaneous, it meant that I didn't have to fly back up again to collect them.

Either way, if it was good news we could relax, or if it was bad news, we could relax.

We hired a car and drove for 2 hours to the Sunshine Coast hospital. We sat in the waiting room for about 5 hours until I was seen for my ultra sound.

Time stands still when you're waiting to see the result.

The darkened room felt cold, like a tunnel into any given reality. I had Sean at my feet, holding tight.

"I'm not seeing a heartbeat." Said the ultrasound lady. 

All I could see was Sean's head dropping and he started to cry quietly.

'It's okay. These things happen.' I said, trying to stop myself from tearing up. 

We were then seen by a doctor who advised that I should have a D&C the next day at Nambour Hospital. I don't remember much other than trying to hold it together, otherwise I felt like I would explode with grief all over the hospital and scare all of the other patients. Sometimes I wish I could be more selfish.

As soon as we got into the car I howled. It was a raw release of agony to express the shock of the loss. I loved that little being so much and now I had a tiny lifeless body in my uterus.

We then drove to Noosa and checked into the resort. I walked to the ocean and said goodbye to my baby. It was already night time and the darkened waves were comforting.

I know it's just the body and my soul-baby is going to arrive in perfect, Divine timing.  For me, I know that the Universe has a plan. I know that perhaps there was something wrong with the fetus. I know that at least one in three pregnancies end in miscarriage. And yes, I know that Sean and I going to make the best parents when our baby finally makes an appearance.

On the morning of the 12th of November I was admitted to Nambour Hospital. Ironically, they perform all D&C operations in the birthing suite, so you have to hear the beautiful sounds of new-born babies crying and testing our their gorgeous lung capacity. In a way it was soothing to hear these little people saying 'hello world, I'm here'.

During the day I was fine, I had my man with me and my beautiful mother. The kids didn't know that I was only 4 minutes away by car. But my mother's support for Sean and I will always be remembered. She was amazing.

To put things in perspective, there are always worse things that can happen to a person. I know I've already had 2 beautiful, healthy children and that a miscarriage might not seem like much of a painful experience, but I have to allow myself to fully feel whatever comes up emotionally and not make it wrong.

Yep, I blamed myself for a few days. I thought that perhaps I killed my baby by not eating enough or not sleeping enough or whatever. The reality is that it was probably nothing that I did that ended the pregnancy, it was just nature taking her beautiful course.

Beyonce, went through something similar and explained it like this…

 

Ed Sheeran also has this beautiful song which is about miscarriage later in a pregnancy.

 

If you or anyone else you know has suffered from a miscarriage and need support you can check out: http://www.sands.org.au/ 

Also, my friend Dallyce told me that there is a huge difference between saying 'I AM DEVASTATED' versus saying 'THIS IS DEVASTATING'. The key is to not let the event define you.

I have cried a lot, Sean and I have become closer and for now we're taking one day at a time. This event has been such an awesome opportunity to heal, grow and love on a new level. And even though his or her heartbeat was within me for such a short time, I am so grateful for what that tiny being was able to teach me.

With Love, Trust and Surrender,

Sarah xo

My Wedding: The Happiest Day of My Life

My LifeSarah Prout

The 21st of September, 2013 was a day that will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. I finally got to marry my best friend, Mr. Sean Patrick Simpson and we had the best time ever surrounded by friends and family present to celebrate our union. We got married at a place called The Rumor Boutique Hotel in Las Vegas. The decor was pink, I got ready in a pink room called 'The Diva Suite', the food was Vegan, the weather was perfect and the energy was outstandingly fun and vibrant. What's also interesting to note is that when I created my vision board a few months ago I wanted a specific floral bouquet for the wedding which I couldn't have because peonies aren't in season in America right now. However, a happy accident occurred because the flowers that turned up on my wedding day were exactly the same as on my vision board and were not what I ordered. Love it when things like this manifest. 

The night before the wedding was full of amazing surprises too. We had the rehearsal dinner, followed by a 'meet and greet' with the other guests, a beautiful performance by our dear friend and very talented John Stringer and then we went out to the strip in Vegas in a stretch Hummer! (Special thanks to my wonderful bridesmaid Bron). However while taking a walk, my Dad had a bad fall and couldn't walk properly. We didn't know if he'd be okay to walk me down the aisle since he's been having some health issues recently. I just remember Sean and I holding my Dad's feet giving him an energetic healing. My Mum was there too and I have never been more in love with my parents than during our stay in Vegas. The love and support they showed me was phenomenal and I have never so proud to be a Prout. Long story short, Dad had a good night sleep and was okay the next day to give me away. We were so relieved! However...

I received my dress back from the dry-cleaning concierge and the zipper was entirely broken! My Dad and my beautiful Lady of Honor (Dallyce) spent over an hour sewing me into my dress! Everything was perfect! Even, (and especially) the seeming imperfections were fabulous additions to the overall experience.

Here are some of the first photos that have been released from our amazing photographer (Steven Joseph Photography) - there will be more to come! And our official wedding video will be available in the near future too. We had the pleasure of working with videographer Lightfield Lewis who got an up-close snap shot of our blissful and eccentric time during and leading up to the wedding. I'm pretty sure the footage he captured is going to be awesome. I can't wait to share it. 


Why Your Word Is Your Wand

MetaphysicsSarah Prout

Don't say stuff you don't mean. Or better yet, only speak of things you wish to create because you are paving your reality with your words. You really are.

How many people do you know use complaining as their standard way of conversing?

'Oh isn't the weather miserable?' < insert heavy sigh here. PS - furrowing your brow creates wrinkles.

Can you identify this energy of dramatic interactions I'm talking about? It's like a barrage of negative verbal diarrhea running from their mouths like a wet cake.

Yesterday I overheard a mother of three small children at the doctor's office say that she might as well camp out at the doctor's for the Winter months of June, July and August.

Talk about setting an affirmation in stone!

I wanted to tell her that the Universe is listening and will probably respond to her vibrational set-point with a tyranny of bright green boogers and chest infections especially made for her kids.

Hey lady, use that beautiful mind's eye of yours to see your children happy and in vibrant health. And I'll use my mind's eye to see you seeing your children happy and in vibrant health. Do we have a deal?

If I said that to her right then and there, they might have sent me straight to the funny farm. However the more gentle alternative and approach is not to bust people out on their bullshit and choose to respect where they're at no matter what. Fair's fair after all, right?

So how do we learn to use our word as our wand in a world of contrasting vibrational set-points? It's easy!

First you promise yourself that you're going to rise above the negative energy of others and don't let it affect you.

Secondly, you stand guard at the doorway to your thoughts and re-frame all notions of resistance, rigidity and negativity and turn it into something softer and more manageable.

And thirdly, you learn to listen to yourself and trust that you are creating with your spoken word. It rattles and buzzes the energy out to the correlating vibrations faster than a streak of weasel's pee, so you need to learn to master yourself and your emotional outgoings to fully work the powers of the Law of Attraction. Happy stuff attracts happy stuff and crappy stuff always attracts more crappy stuff. It's very simple.

So next time you're about to have a grizzle about something, remember that your word is your wand. It's covered in the fizziest of rainbow glitter that explodes with all sorts of creative and unlimited possibilities.

Wave that wand and create some magic!

Love + Wandy Goodness, Sarah xo

Finding A White Feather. Do You Believe in Angels?

Spirit RealmSarah Prout

This morning I was walking back from dropping my beautiful kidlets off at school for the day. The sun is shining, the air is warm and the sky is blue. I was thinking about how grateful I am for everything and that my overwhelmed brain right now (due to the launch of Verbii.com) is something to really feel deep appreciation for. We launched a beautiful book publishing service and I couldn't be happier. I think I've got a little post-launch exhaustion.

Anyway, I looked down and noticed this perfectly white feather (pictured above) on the ground and felt compelled to pick it up. Now, being the germophobic lass that I am, I usually discourage my children from picking up grubby stuff from the ground because you never know where it's been. However, this feather felt different so I bent down and picked it up.

I instantly felt protected. It was weird. I felt like I was holding something really precious.

Someone once told me that finding  a white feather is a sign that you are being looked after by a guardian angel.

 

So I Googled to confirm...

Feathers are a common form of communication from your angels. If you have prayed to the angels for guidance or for a sign that everything’s going to be okay, be sure to notice feathers, especially white ones. They can appear as tangible objects on the ground or floating from the air. Moreover, you may notice a random image of a feather, such as on television or on the side of a moving truck. The angels use various means to get your attention and let you know they’re here to help. (read more)

This sounded lovely. And at the risk of sounding a little woo-woo or doolally tap, I think I have actually seen angels before on various dream realms etc, but that's a story for another day.

Have you been given signs from angelic realms? Or have you experienced finding a white feather? I'd love to know. xx

BIG NEWS: I'M ENGAGED!

My LifeSarah Prout

I am over the moon that I get to marry the love of my life (Sean Patrick Simpson), my best friend, my co-pilot of Älska Publishing and the person who I consistently have so much fun + joy with on a daily basis. I love Sean sooooo much and I’m thrilled (beyond words to accurately describe my love) that he’ll be my husband one day in the not too distant future.

*UPDATE: Here’s the official video of how it happened…

How it happened…

November the 1st was my 33rd birthday and one of the best days of my life so far! It was a surprise beyond surprises!

We had a very relaxing day and I was instructed to get dressed at about 4pm (nice clothes, make-up etc) because we were going out. I'm really glad I chose an outfit I was happy with and had my nails done only a few days earlier...pink and glittery!

Sean then told me to close my eyes and we jumped in the car for a short drive. He then placed headphones on my ears and blasted FloRida followed by ‘PrimaDonna Girl’ by Marina + The Diamonds. I was then led out of the car (still with my eyes closed) and told I could open them when he instructed.

LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem was blasting!

We were outside my dad’s house and friends/family and by beautiful children were standing there waiting for me! Also, there was a PINK LIMOUSINE waiting to take us all for a drive!! I was ecstatic (this is a massive understatement). I think I started jumping up and down on the spot and I dropped the F bomb a few times wondering what on earth was going to happen next.

Inside the car was champagne, pink candy and ginger beer waiting for us. I had no clue where we were going or what we were doing. Sean just told me to ‘trust and surrender’ so I did.

We drove to the city in the pink limo…

We were on the corner of Bourke and Elizabeth Street when I saw several beautiful and familiar faces of friends wishing me a happy birthday. They had gathered in front of a band that consisted of 2 guys singing together.  I then heard the band say ‘Happy Birthday Sarah!’ At this point I thought there was someone else there called Sarah that was also having a birthday (duh).

All of a sudden it started to click in my mind that they were singing for me! The Pierce Brothers were amazing. They sang me a song and then said that Sean was then going to sing to me!!! My heart started to fill with excitement.

I was told to sit on a drum while everyone crowded around. This is the precise point when I started getting suspicious that he might be about to propose to me.

Oh my goodness...

He stared singing the Jason Mraz song: ‘I Won’t Give Up’ The lyrics are so very beautiful and I know for a fact this song was very carefully selected. I felt really teary but extremely present in each moment. My kids were wondering what was going on as well. I could see in their eyes that they were super excited. They love Sean as much as I do.

At the end of the song Sean read me a beautiful letter he had written…

My Dear Sarah, From the day we first met I knew you were special. And even before that day, I had already fallen in love with you. Since then, now over 2.5 years past, you have been my best friend, my partner, my lover… What you’ve always been though since before we were even born, is my soul mate, my twin flame, my Universe…the other half of my soul. We’ve been through a lot together you and I: our ups and downs, our trials and tribulations… We’ve even had fears and moments of uncertainty. But what we’ve had more than anything is the immense joy, the laughter, the fun, the hope, the presence in the now and the visions we share for the future. We have simply lived more together in the past 2.5 years than many couples live in a lifetime. And with each passing day Sarah I love you more and more. And you know what? They were right, Älska. You and I can have everything that we desire – there is no separation – no lack – there is only oneness and completion. And it is that oneness that you and I share. And just as you are the other half of my soul Sarah, you are the answer to my question… And for today my love, I do have more last question to ask: a question you’ve wanted, a question you’ve been waiting for… It’s a question I hadn’t asked before because I was once afraid. But Sarah, I’m not scared anymore. I love you. I know exactly what I want and have been eager to ask you this for a while now… So Sarah… Will you marry me?

-- As Sean said 'Will You Marry Me?'  the crowd cheered and all I could hear was the clicking of dozens of cameras. I felt so overjoyed and blissful. The whole world fell away and it was just Sean and I in a very very very present moment of pure love. Then I realised there were lots and lots of people staring at me! I just wanted to HUG everyone! I felt like even complete strangers were my friend! This was an instance of feeling Love and Oneness for everyone and everything. 

The engagement ring

My love got down on one knee and presented me with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen in my life! It is absolutely perfect and exquisitely crafted. It was made by Madison Jewellery and I highly recommend them! The diamond has the most amazing sparkle to it and I knew that it was a more-than-accurate representation of our love. I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world!!! This was the best birthday ever!

Dinner at Chocolate Buddha

My friends and family then made our way down to Federation Square to have dinner at an Asian inspired restaurant that had statues of Buddha as part of the amazingly designed interior.

I had a glass of champagne and item number 111 on the menu which was the vegetarian bento box. My heart was BEAMING the entire time being surrounded by beautiful people and having my handsome husband-to-be by my side.

After dinner we said our goodbyes to friends and went back to the pink limo so our driver (George) could take us to the next location…

Crown Towers

My dad is AMAZING. He paid for Sean and I to have a romantic evening in a deluxe hotel suite. The guy at the check-in said we had been given a complimentary upgrade which seemed to be an excellent addition to our adventures in manifesting thus far.

The room was beautiful.

Sean and I opened another bottle of champagne and felt so in love! After a while we decided to go and explore the casino and the hotel. I noticed that on each floor near the elevator they had a different coloured canvas which was perfect for a photoshoot. I think we stopped on about 10 floors to take happy snaps.

At about 1am we went back to the room and had a bubble bath before bed. The bathroom was fabulous. It had a TV installed into the wall!

It was at about 2am we fell asleep as a newly engaged couple. I have never felt so in love!

The morning after…

Sean pressed the remote to open the blinds. The light was REALLY BRIGHT and I said: ‘Oh, that’s violent!’. I peeled my eyes open to look out the window and shouted ‘RAINBOW!!!!!!!’

Yes, a rainbow appeared on the moment that we awoke as an engaged couple. It was our special sign of perfection + completion.

The divine pool + beautiful breakfast

We got out of bed and went for a swim in the deluxe hotel pool. It was so refreshing and beautiful. Then we went to a glorious buffet breakfast at The Conservatory before heading home to see the kids and my dad.

In summary…

My life with Sean Patrick Simpson is already amazing. Every single day is an adventure and he’s right when he says that we fall deeper in love as the years roll by. I feel so fortunate and filled with gratitude that I've found someone that wants to share his life with me and my children. The journey from being a single mumma to a bride-to-be has been a wild ride. I know now that in life anything is possible if you trust and surrender. 

Special thanks

My special day would not have been possible without the following people:

- Avak Alan Bedikian (Madison Jewellery) for making the most beautiful ring on the planet

PinkLimos.com.au for an experience I will never forget. You KNOW how much I love pink right?

- Jack and Pat (The Pierce Brothers) for being in perfect alignment with Sean's proposal vision

Michael Firth and Nicole Rigato for taking gorgeous photos and being such wonderful friends

Amber Petty for being such a beautiful friend and helping Sean with the planning and keeping such a huge secret

My special friends and family for your amazing support and love. I LOVE YOU ALL and it's been such an honour to share this exciting time in my life with you.

- YOU, for reading this post to the very end. Your support means the world to me.Sean, I love him with all of my heart and can’t wait to be his wife. xo

ps. You'll be able to see a video of the event very soon. Watch this space!

pps. I've already started a WEDDING INSPIRATION BOARD ON PINTEREST.